My uncle has passed away. He was buried yesterday. He's lived a great life but it was too short. Died at the age of 45. We'll miss you Cau Dung.

I've been having problems coping with the loss. Even though we lost touch when I moved out here to the midwest I always felt close to him. I finally got a chance to see him last year for the first time in over a decade. When I saw him I barely recognized him until he smiled. He had lost so much weight and his eyes were yellow. That smile was something I always remembered him by. I guess it's hard for me right now because I see alot of him in me. When he was around my age he used to party real hard. Drinking and smoking. I've quit partying hard. I still drink occassionly. I quit smoking. I just feel like did I do it soon enough? Is my fate sealed as my uncle's was? It's the first time in a long time i've feared death. I used to embrace it thinking when my time comes then so be it. Maybe I have alot to live for now. My family's closer than ever. Things are looking bright for the people I care about. They're all starting or already started a family. I want to see them grow up. I want to see that for me. I was once told by someone special in my life that they wanted me to quit all the bad things I was doing in life because they wanted me around for a very long time. I knew what that meant but it truly hit close to home just recently with the passing of my uncle. He leaves a wife behind with no children. I met his wife and she's so spunky and always upbeat. I heard now she's like an empty shell. She was in total shock when her husband died even though we all knew he was going to pass soon. Do I want to inflict such pain and misery into my special someone? I can't. So what now? Time for change.

Keep it simple; as simple as posible, but no simpler. - Albert Einstein...

A Day in Hell

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...

Demon: Why so glum  chum?
Guy:  What do you think?  I'm in hell.
Demon:  Hell's not so bad.  We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy:  Sure,  I love to drink.  Love the drinks.
Demon:  Well you're gonna love Mondays then.  On  Mondays that's all we do is drink.  Whiskey,  tequila,  Guinness,  wine coolers,  diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:  Gee that sounds great.

Demon:  You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!  Love the smoking.
Demon:  Alright!  You're gonna love Tuesdays.  We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.  If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy:  Wow...that's...awesome!

Demon:  I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:  Why  yes  as a matter of fact  I do.  Love the gambling.
Demon:  Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.  Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever...  If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.

Demon:   You into drugs?
Guy:  Are you kidding?  Love drugs! You don't mean...
Demon:  That's right!  Thursday is drug day.  Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack.  Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want and if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!  O.D.!!
Guy:  Yowza!  I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!!

Demon: You gay?
Guy:  Uh  no.
Demon:  Ooooh...  (grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.